Does anyone else live their life with multiple identities or is it just me?
In fact, it’s probably fair to say that when I wake up in the morning it has started to become my first thought. Who am I going to be today? Am I going to be multiple people? My first priority of course is always about being Mum, but do I get the chance to me today, do I get the chance to be Claire?
I really do love my life. I’m really passionate about it & grateful. I’m passionate about Family and being a mum. I’m also really passionate about running my business, but my new found passion is discovering more about me, who I really am, and what I’m actually capable of doing!
So who is Claire….?
When you’ve got multiple identities in your life, and I think we all do – don’t we? You can easily forget who we are; what we’re actually like…. What we want to do in our life, how we want to spend our time, who we want to spend it with, what kind of personality is the real me, what sits behind the real me?
I suppose this blog is partly about me discovering who I am as well as realizing that I’m travelling a journey well travelled already by thousands of others, perhaps you’re one of them, or perhaps you’re just starting out on yours? How many layers of Russian dolls have you uncovered? Finding out about who the real person is behind all the persona’s and understanding more about myself I think is really exciting but also I think it’s important in life’s journey. Looking at each of those Dolls in turn and understanding what each is capable of and realising that actually oh my goodness you’re in control of all of them… I’m in control of all of them – I do find that exciting, but maybe a little scary at the same time.
So lets look at all my other dolls….
Yes, I’m mum, mum to two fantastic children. And I’m also wife, to my long suffering hubby. I love my family I love spending time with them and I love these identities, these Russian dolls. But I also occasionally need to be other people too.
So what are they? What are my other identities. I’m daughter, sister, too many relations to mention all of those. I’m also Business woman.
Yes, I run a successful business and yes, I work that around the kids and the family and all my other identities. Quite often, I can be juggling several identities in one short space. That’s why I have developed such a skill for multi-tasking or what I would like to think is multi tasking. Making the tea as mum, taking a business call at the same time. I’m multi tasking all the time, flitting between these identities in a hairs breath like some kind of grand-master chess player. Recently I had a good friend tell me and she was so right, that when you are that person make sure you stay in that moment, be in that moment, don’t get yourself distracted, give your attention to that persona. I really need to improve on this, and be better at being in the moment and not letting myself be distracted. As my school reports used to say I was easily distracted and I haven’t changed one bit. Although I am far more conscious of it now.
So, when does Claire come out to play? When do I get chance to be Claire and discover who I really am, when do you get chance to discover who you are?
Lets recap about Claire….. I am now into my early 40’s, in my 20’s I had a whale of a time, with hubby, a career woman working for the Police with cash in my pocket, oh I remember the days, just the two of us exploring the world and living life to the full. In my 30’s I became a mum, this was a completely new adventure and before long I couldn’t remember a time before the children, it was as though they had always been with us. I was a wife, a mum, still a career professional working hard but had become a slave to the system, the breadwinner but seeing far less of our children than I ever wanted or planned in my carefree 20’s. Restricted by convention and almost trapped into being what was expected and accepted by society….perhaps? Although we did rebel a little, my husband became the stay at home dad for our children as I was earning more, and he was brilliant, it worked so well for us.
In my 40’s there came a big shift and I woke up to convention, realizing there must be some way of taking back some control in my life, ditching societies expectations that I could either be a mum or a career woman but I couldn’t be both to the degree I wanted, does this sound familiar? This Claire, was far braver and more determined than before, wanting more freedom in mine and the family’s lives, wanting to discover myself. Could I fulfil my potential in work and income as well as being the mum at the school gates and assemblies, the mum I felt guilty for years not being?
Could I juggle my identities as a mum and a wife, at the same time as building and running a business as the main breadwinner, as well as finding out what I’m really made of? Well there was only one way to find out, so I took action! I worked my absolute backside off for 3 years running my career and building my little business in the background, gradually my little business became bigger and bigger until I reached that crossroads that I suppose I always knew would come, I just didn’t know when. The day I handed in my notice and resigned from my significant and well paid career was quite an emotional one. I was told by people that I was brave and “good on me” or in some cases didn’t say that I was being stupid, it’s funny isn’t it how alot can be said in silence?
And so here I am just 18 months on after the BIG jump, so what has happened? Well the great news is that my Business is now larger. I have been spending lovely quality time with the family, I was queueing up at the school gates for the first 12 months simply because I could, not because I had to and that just felt amazing. We’ve travelled to places I never thought we would be able to go to and I’m simply loving the freedom and choices we now have. So with that freedom I want to discover more about me and now I have the time to do it.
Which persona made that brave decision to jump ship from convention and go and explore the other way? I really do think that it was most of my personas that came together with a common purpose and it suddenly making sense for all of us, for mum, wife, daughter, Claire, Business woman. It was only the career Claire that may have disagreed, put up some kind of fight, given me a few doubts, but even she thought there’s got to be something better than this! Moving onto a new path where Claire can write the signposts….wow, what a privilege, perhaps my reward for being so ‘brave’, but, where do I want to go and who do I want to take with me?
Join me on my journey of self-discovery, identity challenges, and the daily juggle of trying to have it all, as well as hearing my thoughts and advice on different aspects of that journey. Thriving on being able to fulfil my identities and learning as I go. I have to say although in some aspects of my life I am the queen of forethought and planning, I am also the queen of winging it and being last minute Mary – but I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Welcome to the new identity I’m adding to my profile of Claire the Blogger and just perhaps it can help you also on your journey…..?
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So true! My life has become more and more stressful in recent years, with a young family and two jobs, and I long to slow down a bit and focus on the things that are really important to me at this stage in my life… I’ve recently started reading ‘Thrive’ by Arianna Huffington, which so far is about understanding that the definition of success shouldn’t be just about money and power. It’s all stuff I knew at the back of my mind, but when we are surrounded by a society which still upholds the big house and fancy holidays as measures of success, it’s easy to get swept along with the tide. I need to find a way to make my dreams of a calmer more centred life a reality!!
Thanks Michele, I’m interested to look that book up and totally agree with you, there’s so much of life to explore beyond the fascade of material possessions! Claire x